In any game, rather than books, short stories, or even TV shows, it's not so much about the words. If you want the player to care about your plot, then their quests should put them in their role. Given what you've written though, I assume you've written for single player RPG's, and learned a lot about this already, so I only say this to make a point. When you are in a multiplayer world, that role has different characteristics.
They are an explorer of this new world and their place in it, but one who has to follow a certain plot, give or take possible slight variation, that they know has been seen before. Despite this though, everyone plays differently. Perhaps, if the player is to feel like they really are doing something different, what is important is to emphasize their opportunity to play differently than those before them?
Just a thought on that, though I may be throwing stones at nothing at this point. I have, after all, only just found your project, so I know little of your lore. I imagine though, having 3 factions, this could be one such opportunity.
I've been writing a heavily-choice based story, so take this all with a grain of salt, but I've attempted to leave my own writing bias out of it where possible. Just thought a well written post like this deserved a thoughtful answer.
CosmicArchitect
Trey joined
I'm a newbie Game Maker who mainly does writing when working with others(that's why my newest game is an RPG... It's ok, I'm shocked too). None of my previous games have really been anything to publish, but I hope people can enjoy the one I'm working on now when I'm done with it.