Blogs - Nana_Joo

Girl of the rain, long time ago, she was once just a little thin girl. Her face looked pale, surviving the cold on the edge of the road. Standing there, alone. Without anything to eat, she waited for her father and mother. “Wait here for a moment, I will go to see if my friend has come and ready to take us with his boat. I won’t be long, so don’t go anywhere.” That was his father message.

Then, her mother passed by few moments later. The little girl wanted to follow her, cried. “Oh my daughter, look. The rain is about to fall, and my journey is far, very far. You will get tired if you follow me along. Be patient ,my daughter, I will meet you here and take you along.” Her mother calmed her.

Days have passed since her father and mother left the little girl. But, she still waited for them, even though people kept telling her that her parents would never come back, because of the fact that they separated path. She didn’t care what people told her about her parents. For her, the promise of her father and mother was what pushed her to stand. At the edge of the village road, she stayed in one side, hoping to see her parents’ face. But such promise was just an unfulfilled dream.

In the morning, the body of the little girl found. Died under the cold of rain. Touching the little girl spirit gently, the angel who took her said “Your heart is too pure to freeze. Even more, your spirit is too brave to not do anything in heaven. So go back to earth. Find the children with good and pure heart. Tell them good news from heaven. The good, that is what accompanying them to pass through dark of the night. To help them to see the dark abyss in front of them. If your duty finished, come back to me to the place where the good was born. Because, that is whare you can hug your dream."

Been a month since she came to my place with that sick looking face. Now i just feel relieved, to hear that she want to get healthy again. Uhm before she got a change in her mind she stubbornly tried to accept it as her fate.

Surely yes, she is stuborn. But I'm persistent enough. With a deep breath she said calmly and clearly "I want to get better". You know what I felt the moment I heard her said that? I felt a heavy burden lifted, and a pair of wings grew and took me higher. But wait, forget thr last wing part nonsense. Honestly that how I felt. And the next morning I accompanied her to hospital to get her medical check up. Blood test result: chronic sinusitis, no wonder sometimes I found her suffered pain on her face a lot and some worse case, nosebleeding. Next is gastritis. The last, tension headache.

Bad habit of cafein addict, and bad schedule of when to eat and keeping stomach empty for long, caused the illness even worse. Add those bad habits with overworked from job. Her job is assisting old people whether to go to hospital to get medical checkup, accompany them to shopping, etc (paid per assist). It's just irony ... a big irony indeed if I should say, helping others but forget helping herself *sigh*

I should admit I feel over panic a bit the day she visited me with that sick looking face. Well, since she decided to get better soon I finally put my worry to somewhere else, although I am still worried if she goes overworking again and those annoying sickness come back again. Gonna give her flying kick if she plans to get sick again. Just joking :)

And enjoying my time in capital city while accompanying her back to her place. Aha.

Thank you for lending me your time right now. I just need your small time to read what I felt. I realize this is not game related topic here.

It started with this tough girl, a person close to me. Precious friend, maybe. I knew her two years ago. I was attending convention center when the I met this person. Meeting by the hand of fate? I don't know. She introduced herself, telling her background and many other things. One thing I really know that she has quite deep interest in theatre performance and related things. We then parted ways because since she still had something to do in capital city. Before we parted ways, we exchange our email, and number and become best friend since then. On one occassion I visit her place and some other times, she visited mine.

She is two years older than me. Of course by default I should call her big sis. But she insisted that I just call her by name. Well, she and I shared alot of interest, or some kind of girl talks. Ah, I still remembered how she pissed on some guys just chatted her for dirty talk or "night service" thing. And how she said most guys on internet are always dirty minded. Still, recalling all those things sometimes makes me chuckle today. She also shared one thing she never told to everyone. A dark past that made her as a victim of a crime. I won't tell you what kind of past she had endured and I will keep it to my end, also as my secret and as my promise for a friend. No matter what or who she was in the past, she is always and will always be my friend. Mostly, our friendly talks are always on phone, or chatting by internet.

And few days ago, April 4th exactly, I finally met her again after a half of year I haven't met her in person. But, something about her makes me worried. She looks ... I don't know how to describe ... she is very sick inside. But I know, she hid it from me due not to make me worried.

I feel worried everytime she felt in pain till she screamed how painful it was. Her headache, and some strange of pain on her neck. Sometimes she felt the pain on night, sometimes on day. Everytime the head pain comes, her pain turns a bit red, she just lays on bed or sofa. I tried asking her what kind of sickness she endures right now. She just gave me her smile as always and told me nothing to worry. She just said those things are just a merely simple sickness and will heal in time.

I then forced her to tell everything. I insisted to bring her to hospital to heal all her sickess, but she keeps refusing again and again. Always trying to avoid the topics and talks about her condition. She said just to let everything regarding her health to God's mercy. Absurd. Very absurd! I was pissed, I yelled at her that she should go to hospital to get better. Nothing comes better If she doesn't have a strong will to get her good health back. Even if I have to pay all her hospital bill.

There, she just smiled gently, she then asked me one thing that makes me sadder even the most.

"If, somehow one day, I come to the point of where I am unable to do anything, to where I am become weak and ... worse, promise me one thing, be happy of what life you have right now. Don't be sad if one day something worse happen to me. You are always my friend."

My tears drop the moment I heard everything she said and still, she asked me to be tough? Why, oh god WHY? How come she asked me something that makes me feel sad, to be tough when in reality I'm just a weak. My friend, the person I know that is able to bear all dark past and endure everything with her, the person I know is strong enough to face her present and her future without looking back, how could she ask that? Asking me to not be sad? Please tell me how!

Till this part of paragraph I wrote using my phone on 4am, I still can't hold my tears.

Watching my friend falls to pain everyday is unbearable. I don't know, if I can let her give in to her sickness. I don't know if I can fulfill her wish to be strong if one day she dissapears. I don't know what to do now.

The thought of losing her is hurting me. It's painful, and even painful to imagine she is fadding away like that. I just want someone to talk right now. Honestly ... i don't know.

Hello everyone. It is my first blog in 2017. Ow my my my I haven't ever put any kind of gaming-related article but well, since I'm just a watcher of few cool mods and the growing awesome indies, what can I say. Used to be active alot in the past here, but hey, time passes by and we all are not what we are used to be. I joined this site for random reason, thanks to certain person who introduced me to this site I found interesting mods to make few of my games more interesting.

2012, yeah 5 years ago. Awesome. My first mod to try was of one Crysis mod, then I took interest in other mods as well. Simply awesome, even though the modding community itself is no longer big than it used to be. Lots of indies grow more and more every year. Yeah and add the mobile game community that also grows bigger too then we got massive gaming experience in every aspects whether it is offline or online. My conclusion is that gaming world is growing bigger than we could ever expect, in every kind of platform.

Afterall, this site is still awesome place to make your game looks better and cooler in my opinion. Nuff said.

PS: I just wished that moddb uses the chatting platform also like steam or any other site. You know, it's gonna big advantage for modding community, instead of staying forum-like site.

There I am, enjoying the night sky ... From above ... Watching the night city scenery ...

I want rice cracker, but none gives me rice cracker. ( # . #)

Many people worry about many unpredicted things in the future and forget the live they have in the present. From the top-priority-to-do things to the small useless things. Every kind of problem filled their head till they are unable to enjoy a life of "today". Well, it is sad, isn't it? Is it because the aspect of "grown-up" we have? As we grew in modern days society we tend to forget how to enjoy our "today".

"What should I do first?", " Then what should I do after this?", or many same questions in your head. Again and again, and ... again. You put a lot of these thoughts into your mind and sooner or later it will become your mindset. Even worse when some unmanaged things overwhelm your mind and let yourself got frustated because of them.

Not just in real life, but also in the internet life. Worrying more about managing the "follower", video reaction, " like or dislike", comment number to some certain uploaded pics, and all kind of modern internet things. Even some people are taking seriously of what happened in the internet, and worse ... letting such things affect their reality. Isn't it irony? Well, you could say that. Oh come on, why don't you at least stop worrying too much. Hakuna Matata, everyone? ( * 3 *)

Hakuna Matata (하쿠나마타타 ) means no worry. It is not just about philosophy, it's about way of life. Enjoying life through even simplest things. Ever enjoy your air of morning when you are on your way to office or school? Watching the sky even for a few seconds from your window in the middle of your business? Or maybe enjoying city lanscape when you are going home from your train? Watching cat running on around building? If you feel you can do any of them, then it is the time for you to HAKUNA MATATA!

Enjoy the fun while you can!

Finally. Never realized that this is already my 4th year in this site. Checking and tracking some mods, watching some indie game development, seeing how most awesome and skilled people or developer are so dedicated in the modding community.

Four years already passed, few cool mods already tried. It's amazing to see a community growing year by year. Started my account in 2012 with no particular reason. Uploading random things like gameplay screenshot, my pencil drawings, vector arts, cats thingy, funny pictures, etc in the past. Tried few mods for games like Crysis 2, StarCraft, and few other games. No "specific" reason actually, since I am, myself, not a modder nor having a mod experience in modding but a simple fan of mods.

No more android games in my phone, bye bye, no more fusing card, getting random card, daily mission to get point this and that, gambling for rare card, card this card that. Done!! Even today, wondered why most android games are about card with anime theme thingy. If only they made a shooting game which rewards you real $$$ every time you shoot pizza-eating zombies, suicidal bomber chickens, fanatics, or mutated teletubbies then I will download that game A.S.A.P, even better if the character could level up and get skill points like in Borderland game.

My PSP is doing good. Very loyal "friend" indeed, always there, every time I feel bored of daily routines, job or anything. If you want to buy me a PS Vita, *begging-eyes* well, I'll gladly accept. (In my dream, ahaha)

Well, least my pencil drawing finally improved (thanks to my motivational donuts and spiritual pencils ahaha). and one more thing, thanks to "him", the one is to blame, the one who dragged me into this site. Still, you were unable to defeat me. Challenge me again, I dare you. ( * 3 *)

Also, I don't need to worry, a friendly dark templar is here, keeping his oath to protect my profile from incoming nasty zergs.

Busy busy busy ...

Must recharge spirit using Spirit Up X 2 these days. I'm done with zombie game (Dead Islands).

Bored bored bored ...

Awright. Time to get more fun to play game instead smacking mindless infected zombies. Restarting level with useless weapon is wasting time. Zombie got powerful and that's it. Yeah. At least plant vs zombie is still fun than serious zombie fps game.

And looks like more interesting indie games out there. Gotta try a few demos if any of 'em are available.

Not much since less gaming for this week. My psp is still happy but no more PC gaming except for browsing or internet thingy. Checking this site back and forth like a hungry cat ahaha. Going to manage one or two things. Also planning to visit relatives in other city. Eww looks like I got plenty of works to do this month. Oh huwaahh the air is so cold but well the only thing I could do now is just raise my hand and shout "RHUUS " but I am afraid neighbor got annoyed ahaha.

/( ò ~ ó)/ ♪

"Time to do some paper jobs around here. Skipped few rank S missions for later. These higher level monsters didn't keep my interest longer. Well, I gotta go now."